- Mama, Wild Woman, Psychologist Believer
I’m in it at the moment! Mid-life/ peri-menopause feels like a whole new version of myself is emerging. My personality is changing, my tastes, my brain is working differently, my purpose and focus has shifted. Nothing is as it was. It’s unsettling and exciting. I have been a mum for half of my life so the possibility of centering myself, my needs, wants and desires, feels ground-breaking. Our culture is very youth orientated, but I definitely wouldn’t want to be younger. I’m looking forward to what aging will bring – hopefully greater wisdom, freedom and peace.
What is your favorite piece from le Dépôt Dore and why? How does it make you feel?
That’s easy! A custom piece that Else made for my daughter after it came to me in a dream. It was a wolf whistle – a way to reclaim something negative my daughter was experiencing as she came into young womanhood, a way to let her know that I’m always there when she needs me, circling the perimeter, and to initiate her into the she-wolf pack. ‘Women Who Run with the Wolves’ by Dr Clarissa Pinkola Estes is one of my favourite books.
The whole process made me feel lots of things. Being able to share my vision with Else and have her immediately understand me (the dream, what it symbolised and how I wanted it to look), I felt seen in a way that was very healing. There was a moment of resonance between two women strangers that deepened my faith in magic and the connection women share (I like to call it the wwww – worldwide witch web). Then there is the deep feeling of connection that I feel towards my daughter which has been enhanced by the piece. Because of it, all 3 of us now share something which is both unique and universal.
“My alone feels so good, I'll only have you if you're sweeter than my solitude.” (Warsan Shire)
This is definitely something I have been feeling more with age, and applies to all my relationships. I used to hate being alone when I was younger. I was always running from myself.
What do you most look forward to?
The second half of life. It’s going to be a trip!
What advice would you give your 22 year old self and what do you need to tell your current self more often?
It’s funny, but I have been thinking about this question a lot recently as an old friend from that period got in touch. We were living in Milan as students and completely wild and feral!
I would tell her, stop wishing you were different; you will go through several different versions of yourself so don’t get too comfortable with one identity. They are all fine as they are. You are enough.
You think that telling everyone everything about yourself is being ‘an open book’ and that you’re being vulnerable. You hope it fosters connection but actually it’s a defence. Keep some things for your secret garden.
Don’t listen to a word I say. The only reason I can give you this advice is because of everything you have been through, good and bad!
It all works out in the end. That is also what I need to tell my current self more often, along with, ‘You are enough.’